All Posts, Beginning to End
Journey of Fear: An Introduction Oct 15, 2015| Journey of Fear Why did I decide to tear the seats out of my car and start driving without a destination? To find… more
Life in the RV4 Oct 16, 2015| Journey of Fear In the weeks before embarking on my Journey of Fear, it became apparent to me that everybody has a different… more
Destination Unknown Oct 17, 2015| Journey of Fear No goals, and no destinations. This trip was about braving the uncertain, and accepting whatever the open road decided to… more
A Healthy Alternative to Suicide Oct 22, 2015| Journey of Fear I can pinpoint the specific moment in which I decided to embark on this trip. I was walking Chookie (the… more
The Transformation [Technical Details] Oct 22, 2015| Journey of Fear Televisions, microwaves, and internet. I think that we can all agree that getting away from luxuries such as these every… more
Why Am I Doing This Again? Oct 23, 2015| Journey of Fear Photomatt28 / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND Mindsets can change quickly. After a month or so of earning money and working… more
Fear: Defined Oct 25, 2015| Journey of Fear I feel it necessary to pause for a moment to explain my definitions for the words fear and love –… more
Fire Protection Oct 26, 2015| Journey of Fear For the past four years, I've dated an amazing girl, though I use the term "dated" loosely. We met in… more
Safe Refuge in Ohio Oct 27, 2015| Journey of Fear I had only intended to spend a few hours with That Girl in Columbus – instead, I spent a few… more
The Wheels Start Turning Oct 28, 2015| Journey of Fear I wished I could have stayed in Columbus, more than anything else in fact. But I knew that I was… more
Playing in the Hoosier Mud Oct 29, 2015| Journey of Fear It wasn't long into my Journey of Fear before I began to get a taste for adventure. It also wasn't… more
Seven Fears I Face Oct 30, 2015| Journey of Fear You might be trying to figure out what exactly these fears are that I keep mentioning. Well, you're in good… more
Butts, Butts, Butts Nov 1, 2015| Journey of Fear Oh whoops, typo.*Buts, Buts, Buts There we go. Well you're here already, might as well keep reading! (Welcome to Marketing… more
Metamorphosis Nov 2, 2015| Journey of Fear Flash Forward to the Present Day I'm changing in some big ways. While the photos above – the first taken… more
Happy Birthday! Nov 7, 2015| Journey of Fear There's a kid out there who's hoping to do something that's infinitely more impressive than simply driving across the U.S.… more
From the Darkness Nov 12, 2015| Journey of Fear I fell into a dark period during my first year out of college – one that I can only characterize… more
The Consequence of Thought Nov 13, 2015| Journey of Fear I feel the necessity to be honest about something – to open up about a secondary goal that I've had… more
The Consequence of Thought – Part Deux Nov 14, 2015| Journey of Fear …continued I've experienced a profound increase in the amount of happiness in my life, due to my active decision to… more
Is it Coincidence Nov 15, 2015| Journey of Fear Now that you know about the downward Cycle of Fear that I had to crawl out of whenever I moved… more
Anatomy of a Traveler Nov 15, 2015| Journey of Fear "The only difference between a traveler and a homeless man is a destination." This is but one of many quotes… more
Seeing Beyond the Spoon Nov 16, 2015| Journey of Fear While I was packing up to leave on my last morning in Hoosier National Forest, Mrs. Davidson approached me. She… more
My Remaining Stay at Hoosier Nov 17, 2015| Journey of Fear While I've already described to you the bulk of what I learned from my new friends the travelers, I went… more
Balance Ablaze Nov 18, 2015| Journey of Fear An odd "coincidence" taught me how to look at my fears and what I'd learned at Hoosier NF. more
Loneliness Leads to Weakness Nov 19, 2015| Journey of Fear Feelings of loneliness led to a moment of weakness, in which I reached a vital turning point. more
Word Magic – Thanksgiving Nov 26, 2015| Journey of Fear The power of Thank You isn't what you think it is... more
Tell Me More About “Reality” Dec 4, 2015| Journey of Fear Things aren't quite how I pictured they'd be...it's been a struggle. more
Silence Isn’t Safe Dec 16, 2015| Journey of Fear I began to realize how much being quiet ties in with vulnerability. more
My Morning Affirmation Dec 20, 2015| Journey of Fear Looking back on a technique that I used to do, amazed at what I've learned since. more
The Perfect Moment Dec 21, 2015| Journey of Fear If you will but only look, hear, smell, taste, feel, and stop... more
I’m Back! Feb 9, 2016| Journey of Fear It's been a while since I've last written – an update is deserved. more
Sowing Negativity Feb 16, 2016| Journey of Fear Even after an beautiful night in Kansas, negativity can still creep in. more
Kansas is My Hell Feb 19, 2016| Journey of Fear Kansas proved my theory that what you expect is what you get. more
The Missing, Kansas Lake Feb 23, 2016| Journey of Fear Making my way down a Kansas "state highway," trying to find the "state fishing lake." more
Blood Moon, Strange Farmers Feb 25, 2016| Journey of Fear If I only had a clue as to what could have been my fate that night... more
Kansas, You Win Mar 7, 2016| Journey of Fear Sometimes you just gotta throw your hands in the air, and admit that you're not in control of this thing… more
Kansas Farewell Mar 22, 2016| Journey of Fear Of course, I couldn't simply leave the state of Kansas on a happy note. She had to say goodbye, in… more
Now For My Next Trick: An Update Apr 26, 2016| Journey of Fear Guess I should let you know what I'm up to now – I've been given a boat! more
A New Day Apr 27, 2016| Journey of Fear It was finally time to start fresh, and let go of my beef with Kansas. more
Disturbing Parallels Apr 30, 2016| Journey of Fear In such an awe-inspiring setting, I witnessed the true divide between man and nature. more
Peace of Darkness May 1, 2016| Journey of Fear Only once you've experienced impenetrable darkness, can you fully appreciate the light that's all around you. more
Resolutely Lax May 3, 2016| Journey of Fear I formulated a spontaneous goal, and resolved myself to accomplishing it...or not. more
Gut Feelings May 25, 2016| Journey of Fear I started playing a little game with my mind, as it guided me up the side of the mountain. more
A Conversation I Had With Myself Jan 31, 2017| Tantrums Some of you might still be on the fence as to whether or not I'm certifiably insane. This might help… more
1.11.24.111 Jan 21, 2024| Tantrums I just glanced up at the top right corner of my screen – it’s January 11, 2024, 1:11 pm as… more
My Current Life in 360º Jan 22, 2024| Tantrums As it stands today, my home is a carcinogenic mass of trash and filth. So I figured that it’d be… more
Page 0 Jan 28, 2024| First Draft Black & Birch (working title) By Benjamin D. D'Amico (Use the right and left arrows at the sides of the… more
Page 1 Jan 28, 2024| First Draft The stillness of the moment would have taken a conscious soul aback, had any conscious soul been present to witness… more
Real Work Jan 31, 2024| Tantrums I want to work. I want to fucking work. I want to work. I really want to work. I don’t… more
Page 2 Feb 5, 2024| First Draft There was a pause. Whatever it was that lay hidden within the blackness of the hallway, was waiting for something… more
Page 3 Feb 6, 2024| First Draft An eruption of nauseating noise gripped the quiet morning by the throat and shook it with wild rage. The beast’s… more
Page 4 Feb 7, 2024| First Draft Benjamin caught and returned her glare as he sat up on the side of the bed. “I’m up.” He looked… more
Page 5 Feb 8, 2024| First Draft Regaining his footing, Ben took the dangling towel from the fist. With a voice far manlier and more imposing than… more
Page 6 Feb 9, 2024| First Draft He didn’t bother looking in the mirror. There’d be plenty of time to deal with that later. He simply brushed… more
Page 7 Feb 10, 2024| First Draft He looked down at the spot where the door knob had struck the wall. Fortunately, the wall had already been… more
Page 8 Feb 11, 2024| First Draft All four closet doors flew open at once, to the sound of another shriek – this one of repulsion and… more
Page 9 Feb 12, 2024| First Draft Proudly and deliberately, it placed the shirt – a pink button-down – folded nicely on top of the dresser. Now,… more
Page 10 Feb 24, 2024| First Draft Quickly, without allowing further time for the beast to fight back, he pulled the jeans on and buttoned them. One… more
Page 11 Feb 25, 2024| First Draft Benjamin D’Amico didn’t want to start writing in his fancy notebook again. It had been months since his last foray… more
Page 12 Feb 26, 2024| First Draft Ben looked down at the rear seat beneath him. The Thumper had vanished beneath his clenched fists. Quickly, he scurried… more
Page 13 Apr 18, 2024| First Draft “Ben,” a woman’s voice from the neighboring room called out. He hurried forward, hastening his last few paces through the… more
Page 14 Apr 19, 2024| First Draft Benjamin set the heavy code book down onto the corner of the desk, and began typing in his password in… more
Page 15 Apr 25, 2024| First Draft BENJAMIN felt such an agonizing disdain for the work that was laid out before him. Mind you, it was only… more
Page 16 Apr 28, 2024| First Draft An hour went by in short order as the five all worked in their own little worlds. Benjamin was drawing… more
Page 17 May 1, 2024| First Draft Ben happily chewed his second bite of egg roll, himself now slowly rotating in his swivel chair. The office was… more
Page 18 May 2, 2024| First Draft He always enjoyed creating interior elevations. He liked laying out the cabinets, choosing what sizes looked nice together, and sketching… more
Page 19 May 3, 2024| First Draft She looked up at Benjamin as he closed out of the web pages she'd opened, and then glanced down at… more
Page 20 May 5, 2024| First Draft The caffeine helped Ben focus, and the warm drink helped him to relax. Mara, who now sat sulking atop a… more
Page 21 May 6, 2024| First Draft "The reason that I ask, Benjamin, is Because it is very rare for a new medication to begin showing signs… more
Page 22 May 7, 2024| First Draft When the doctor stood and walked to the door, opening it for Benjamin to leave, it became apparent to Ben… more
Page 23 May 10, 2024| First Draft The pharmacist assistant was frustratedly rifling through the bags on the shelves. From somewhere else in the store, Benjamin could… more
Page 24 May 11, 2024| First Draft The head pharmacist approached the counter, squinting at the computer screen. "I can have that ready in twenty minutes, if… more
Page 25 May 12, 2024| First Draft It was silent in the office. "Maria," Ben softly called out, and was met with no response. He turned around… more
Page 26 May 13, 2024| First Draft 8:00 pm. Ben had written about 45 uninspired words. He was so buttfucking angry with his wasted self, his useless,… more
Page 27 May 14, 2024| First Draft Mara had not moved by the time he had returned from the other room. He heeded her twisted smile for… more
Page 28 May 15, 2024| First Draft Consistently, diligently, he stayed focused on his singular task of incorporating all red marks and alterations on the pages before… more
Page 29 May 16, 2024| First Draft Benjamin continued to bite down on his finger with his eyes closed, wanting nothing more than to let out an… more
Page 30 May 17, 2024| First Draft It had been over two months since Ben had written in this notebook. God, did he feel awful today. God,… more
Page 31 May 18, 2024| First Draft A day had passed. BENJAMIN had released control, gone outside to plant potatoes for the rest of the day. He… more
Page 32 Aug 2, 2024| First Draft BENJAMIN felt the cycle concluding at last. He had bravely stood unguarded with the dark beast throughout the last several… more
Page 33 Aug 3, 2024| First Draft His eyes shut tight, within the tiny tapestry of it's wings he could envision TEN OR MORE ACRES OF BEAUTIFUL,… more
Page 34 to 35 Aug 4, 2024| First Draft The beast had already begun turning it's back to him when he finally returned his attention to it. Slowly, it… more
Forcing Home Aug 6, 2024| Tantrums I’m sitting in my childhood bedroom – albeit, it’s in an entirely different arrangement than it was when I was… more
10.3.2024 Oct 15, 2024| Tantrums Dear Deluded Diary, I’m thinking about buying a 20-something foot step van (think UPS truck) on Facebook Marketplace. It’s $2,300,… more
This Might Sound Preachy, But I Wrote It For Me. Oct 27, 2024| Tantrums “With the way you’re talking, people will think that you don’t care about anything at all.” Mom had been looking… more
Psalm for the Intentioned Soul Nov 4, 2024| Tantrums Move forward blindly. BLINDLY. BLINDLY, in whichever direction feels right. Rest when it feels right to rest. Move when it feels right… more
Community Porn Dec 9, 2024| Tantrums Aha! It’s worked again! In the same vein as my Butts, Butts, Butts post, you’ve been fooled into clicking on… more
Forward Dec 12, 2024| Journey of Fear In the rounding of one short bend, I was thrust out of the world of the casual day-hiker, and into… more
Page 36 Dec 13, 2024| First Draft The amber light of the sodium lamps in the parking lot filtered in through the window blinds, which Benjamin had… more
Bridgemaker – On Abortion And Control Dec 17, 2024| Tantrums None of the following matters, save, perhaps, for the final paragraph. But I penned it all in a matter of… more