Journey of Fear
Journey of Fear is the original title of this blog. It points to my original purpose for creating all of this: to document the miracles and changes that I underwent while on an 8,000+ mile, 2 1/2 month road trip, whilst living in my converted Toyota RAV4.
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Fire Protection
For the past four years, I’ve dated an amazing girl, though I use the term “dated” loosely. We met in college, and ever since then we’ve had some strange force pulling us towards one another. For those four years, she’s given me her all, throwing her own emotional safety to fate in attempt after attempt to show me what the two of us could have together. And for four years, I’ve kept her at bay, always an arm’s-reach away. I never let her get too close, and yet never let her get too far. I abused her innocent, hopeful love, and gave her only repetitions of pain and rejection in…
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Safe Refuge in Ohio
I had only intended to spend a few hours with That Girl in Columbus – instead, I spent a few days. We spoke about things on a level of intimacy that was unprecedented for me. I was digging deep to express my innermost hopes, desires and fears (this was, after all, my Journey of Fear). I honestly can’t imagine any better start to this trip. On my second day there, I was actually planning on setting off. She had to work for the entire day, and we were in a strange sort of limbo when it came to our relationship (as we have been for about the past three years).…
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The Wheels Start Turning
I wished I could have stayed in Columbus, more than anything else in fact. But I knew that I was being called to the road, to begin what I had initially set out to accomplish. I had more to learn. I couldn’t stop smiling for the first few hundred miles as I made my way towards Indiana. At this point in my life, I understood that happiness is entirely a choice, and I was choosing to be excited about the road ahead (regardless of any obstacles I might need to overcome). I probably looked high to the truckers and families that were passing me along I-70, grinning ear-to-ear, but that…
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Playing in the Hoosier Mud
It wasn’t long into my Journey of Fear before I began to get a taste for adventure. It also wasn’t long before I began to learn some of the deep lessons that I had set out on this trip to learn. The day began calm enough. I stopped at the Warm Candle Co. outlet store, which sits just past the Ohio–Indiana border along I-70. You can’t miss it – it has a thirty foot candle outside of it. They have AWESOME prices on everything that they sell, which is all things country crafts. Pretty much the perfect place to bring Mom or a girlfriend…or me. I’m currently writing by the…
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Seven Fears I Face
You might be trying to figure out what exactly these fears are that I keep mentioning. Well, you’re in good company. Because so am I. A large portion of this trip is dedicated to pinpointing what fears I have hidden beneath the surface. And from what I’ve found, you usually can’t spot your fears until you put them to the test (which I’ve certainly been doing). What do I mean by this? For most people, when they’re happy and feeling good, they don’t assume that there’s anything going on deep down inside. But take every last dollar out of someone’s bank account, and for most people, you’ll get to watch…
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Butts, Butts, Butts
Oh whoops, typo. *Buts, Buts, Buts There we go. Well you’re here already, might as well keep reading! (Welcome to Marketing 101 kids.) As time’s gone on along my Journey, I’ve become aware of an interesting phenomenon within my own mind – a group of friends, if you will. I call them my Buts. And they speak to me. What they say depends entirely on my current situation, but usually our dialog ends up sounding something along the lines of: Me: Boy, I sure would like to [insert interesting life experience]! But: Oh no, you can’t. What if [insert possible negative consequence]? For most of my life, my Buts have…
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From the Darkness
I fell into a dark period during my first year out of college – one that I can only characterize by the word terror. Dazed and Confuzed I think that many recent grads are a bit traumatized by the sudden jolt that being handed a diploma can induce. But for me, it served as a sudden exposure to the grim truth of life: that there were no more rules, no more curriculums, and that nobody would be there to point me towards the individual path that I was supposed to take. I was terrified by the sudden realization that everything was now up to me. Oddly, they hadn’t offered any…
