Journey of Fear

Now For My Next Trick: An Update

Cruising Ben

It’s been about a month since my last post. And, while I had promised you all that I wouldn’t come up with any more excuses for absences like these, this time my excuse is just too damn good!

Ladies and gentlemen, I’m on a boat.

On April 18th – my 25th birthday – I took what little money I had, boarded a flight to St. Petersburg, Florida, and met with Rodney – the man that would be giving me his sailboat. I’ve been living aboard her since then, and have just received the title from him. All that’s left to do is to go to the DMV for the transfer, organize/clean the inside to my personal preferences…and learn how to sail. But don’t worry, I’m getting the hang of it.

Sails

Oh yeah, there’s one more detail:

The boat was 100% free.

Yes, I meant it when I said that Rodney GAVE it to me, with all of the bells, whistles, and safety measures that I could possibly ask for. And no, for all of you concerned friends back home, he has not asked me for either my liver or my kidneys. He’s just a man who’s discovered the true joy that results from giving to others – and who is living in a way that I aspire to live myself.

Fuggit


I’m Sure You Have Questions

I’m not going to go into the “HOW” of all of this right now – even though I’m sure you’re dying to know. That in itself is an incredible story, and one that I feel should be saved for when I begin telling the tale of my next journey. But I can explain a little bit of the why.

When I returned home to Pittsburgh from my last learning experience (the one that I’ve been trying to tell you about for the last six months), I had a great time for a while there. I found work with an awesome company and a great friend, and even had an incredible apartment with a fantastic roommate. But, as many of you might be able to identify with, the stressors of life at home were starting to build up quickly. It took several months, but I found myself slowly falling back into the fearful mindset that I had been in prior to embarking on my Journey of Fear. And, more importantly, while working to pay the bills that were stacking up, I found it EXTREMELY difficult to motivate myself to write in my free time (I’ve realized that I must be in a very relaxed mindset to be able to do so).

And thus, the logical decision was to head to Florida and to live aboard a boat. Ok – so no, maybe not “logical.” But for some reason, the idea of getting a sailboat and cruising the coast as I pursued my dream of writing simply felt like it was what I wanted to do. It was one of those ideas that just stuck in my mind for months on end (I actually first conceived it somewhere around Denver, CO). And when you’ve been diagnosed with “ADHD,” you come to realize that any idea that sticks with you for more than a few hours is something that you REALLY DO desire.

So, when this absolutely stunning opportunity fell out of the sky and into my lap, I felt that it was a sign that this was the right direction to take. I don’t know how far this will go, where I will end up, or what may come from it. But I can at least tell you that I’ll enjoy the journey in the moment. To hell with logic.


The Ultimate Truth

I’m not sure how everything is going to work out down here. There are many uncertainties in my life at this moment. And to be honest, that’s honestly the way that I like it. Probably because, when I’m not pretending to understand all of the ways that life CAN or WILL play out, it allows more room for miracles to pop up in the most unlikely of places – as you will soon see in my writings over the next few months. What I do know for certain is that it will work out. And deep in my heart, I feel that the avenue through which it will come together somehow involves my writing.

So now, in the incredible atmosphere of the Florida coastal waters, I will give yet another effort to write. It feels like the right thing to do in this moment – and so I will do it.

St Pete Sunset

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