Tantrums
Some of my most profound realizations have come in the quiet moments that lie outside of tales of adventure and chaos. Reflecting on my current life and it’s winding path, these posts tend to follow a more rant-like structure. While some of these topics may resonate with cords in your own tale, many will not. I write these ones for me, so enjoy them for what they are: a window into my soul. Show All
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A Conversation I Had With Myself
Some of you might still be on the fence as to whether or not I'm certifiably insane. This might help clear things up.
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1.11.24.111
I just glanced up at the top right corner of my screen – it’s January 11, 2024, 1:11 pm as I write this. That number always seems to crop up whenever I’m doing something seemingly important – 111. Call me crazy, but the last few years of my life have convinced me to let go of societal norms, and take whatever signs and signals I can get in this world, even if they arrive from sources which my peers might define as “woo-woo.” Numerology, astrology, gut instincts and intuition – I’ll warmly embrace anything that offers a sliver of hope in an increasingly cold and mechanical world. “Trust the science,”…
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My Current Life in 360º
As it stands today, my home is a carcinogenic mass of trash and filth. So I figured that it’d be a wonderful idea to show it to you in 360º detail. Cause we’re at the end our rope, and brutal honesty is my catharsis. And, if I ever do get this horrible box looking more like a home, then it may serve as a neat before/after post. Side note: Since I began building the tiny house (over six years ago) I’ve fantasized about re-activating my Facebook account and making one final string of posts. In the first post, I would detail the beautiful life that I’ve worked so hard to…
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Real Work
I want to work. I want to fucking work. I want to work. I really want to work. I don’t want to drink alcohol, I don’t want to eat sugar, I don’t wanna waste my time on movies, games, or the internet. I want to work. I want my life to mean something – I want to undergo the alchemical process, transforming this shattered self into the most-idealized version of myself (lead to gold). That takes work. I want to work. I want to study and to strive. I want to work. I want to learn. I want to plant my own crops, raise my own meat and eggs. I…
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Forcing Home
I’m sitting in my childhood bedroom – albeit, it’s in an entirely different arrangement than it was when I was a kid (unnecessary aside: I’ve finally, after all of these years, begun to refer to myself as a man, rather than as some wandering kid). Today, this room is set up more as a cozy office than a bedroom, with a nicely made mattress on a boxspring on the floor, off in the corner of the room, next to a floor lamp – an arrangement seemingly made as an afterthought. I’m in a clear headspace, and I’m calm; a condition which I have not, in truth, experienced often throughout these…